Browsing articles in "I say"

The Approach

So here we go with a new section! As relationship adviser, I am coming across so many things and cases that actually changing my thinking about relationships everyday. Each day one or the other case (that includes mine also) make me think how emotions can actually create issues in personal life. I always hear from other people to use common sense or about being practical but I still do not understand what happen to the practical approach and common sense when either we are in a relationship or we are on a way of being into a relationship.

Lets take my case here. I have been into more than 6 relationships till date and many one sided or crushes or Infatuation and every time i kill my common sense :/ but amazingly when I go and advice someone else, everything looks so easy to me. Now, after giving it a long thought and process out things, I came to a conclusion that love should not be emotionally strong but should be practically strong.

This section is dedicated to those who really want to have love in their life. The moment you loose common sense, that very moment you will ruin everything. I mean it. Everything including relationship, work, friendship, life and whatever you can think of.

The first approach:

We actually get stupid on the very first step of a relationship. The moment a we come across someone who can be a partner in life, we screw up all the common sense and life style for him/her. How can we forget the fact that the person who is entering our life has been trained by his/her family on how to live, whim to talk to, how to talk and so on. We also forget that we liked him/her because he/she lives the way we looked him/her for the first time.

For first few days we live happily with the person and then our so called sophistication or stupidity starts working and we try to change him/her. Wow! we are such a big dumb ass! We liked him/her for being real and then we try to change? Anyway, don’t try to. You will screw things up. On later stages the dialogues like,”You have changed” will be told by us only.

Secondly we give so much time from our daily routine to the relationship that we forget everything else. Family, friends, work, study or anything. Slowly slowly we realize we have to manage time. At that moment things also go wrong. The partner starts thinking that we are ignoring and the love gets converted into possessiveness and quarrels.

You just need to be a little practical here. Fix some time in the day to spend together. Be together at that time and leave the whole world. It can be an hour or so. Talk everything about the day, life and what ever you want to talk about. Do not get involved into arguments.

The problem is on the first step with everyone. As per my thoughts there are 12 steps in a relationship. The first step, if taken wisely can take you quickly to the 12th step and can make you happier and together for lifetime. Just give these two points a little thought and lets meet again right here to discuss more :)

Stay happy, stay in love, hug, kiss, wink, send smilies, spend time, laugh, slap and just stay together.

 

P.S. I screwed a sweet friendship recently. Just want everything to get back on track as soon as possible. The reason was a little me and a little of situation. For the rest, I still love you. More than anything.

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Lets Talk!

Relationship without talking is like a sea without water. Yes! You need to talk. I am not saying that when you are in a relationship you should become a chatterbox, but I am saying that to make sure there are no unsaid issues between you, you should communicate more often.

It is important to understand what exactly happens in a relationship. Normally, when you enter a relationship, you are not able to see anything else other than your partner. You devote extra time and want to share each and every bit of your life with him/her. Sooner or later the things will come to an end and either one or both will start talking less for some obvious reasons. The reason could be studies, work, family or end of all common topics! Indeed someday has to come on which you won’t have anything to talk about. Your life is not an endless story!

What happens afterwards is an unseen gap gets into the relationship. You will start finding some other way to fill the gap or space. Which eventually will create more issues. There will be fights, arguments etc. Now to avoid such unwanted events, you need to sit, relax and think what can be done. Let’s see what all we have in our box to do.

1. Discuss: You can do discussions over various topics. The only thing you need to take care about is that the discussion never leads to past relationships. It may hurt one or the both partners. You can discuss on something in common. It can be related to family, nature, current affairs (some partners are really good at it), studies or anything.

2. Walk together: When you start feeling the feeling and the spice is getting away from the relationship, prefer walking together more often. Talk about anything while walking. How the day went, anything new happened or whatever you like. Do not waste the time by doing brisk walking. You are not out with your partner to do some exercise. Make full use of the moment.

3. Get involved in work: Ask your partner if you can be a help in work or studies. No matter if you are a dumb ass in the field he/she is in. The moment you offer your help and the moment you join in for the help, you will see the difference in the expressions and the way he/she looks at you. He/she will feel even better when you tell them what and how to do. Sometimes, it may even delay the work a little bit (so do not mess around and just help) but overall results will be good.

4. Pass a kiss: ”When talks come to an end, kiss works.” But do not fall for this. I am not talking about go, grab her and kiss her madly. Send a sms with the emoticon “:*” very often. Do not expect a reply. This will not only keep him/her close to you but will also bring a smile on his/her face.

5. Share the day: Try to find time to tell if anything important happened in life on a particular day. Write a diary for him/her if you both are busy on odd times. Let him/her read it in the weekend. It won’t take much time as I am assuming you won’t fill the pages with “I woke up, I brush my teeth and all”! The diary is will be for your partner to know the main important things of the day. We often forget what happened during the week and miss the expressions and feeling of telling the partner. This will for sure help you.

6. Have a dinner together: In case you are not married or not living together, fix a date at home. Prepare dinner together and enjoy every bite of it. There is not at all any need to involve sex in that date. Just be together. Share the love and happiness and talk. Praise the food what your partner has prepared. You can enjoy drinks together if you both are comfortable with it.

7. Discuss the movie: Stupid it seems to many but when you see a movie, it means a lot. Discuss it. If it is about some issue or even if it is just a love story, talk about it. Screenplay, photography, direction, scenes, locations, costumes or whatever you want to talk about. This will not only give you some quality time together but will also open up your thoughts about the thinking of your partner.

8. Morning SMS chat: A message to wish good morning or good night or to just say I love you without expecting a reply fills a lot of gap between partners. In case you know your partner will be busy for the day it is very important not to expect a reply. Let him/her finish off with the work and reply.

The above mentioned points help in many cases but for some it is important to work on new ways. You may need to find exceptionally great ideas to impress your partner. Try to be innovative in talking. Try to bring up topics he/she wants to talk about. Read about what he/she loves, improve your knowledge on different topics and use the gift of the ability to talk to improve your relationship.

Stay in love, stay happy and stay blessed.

 

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Nov 11, 2011

Rockstar – An Honest Review!

 

“Ranbir Kapoor should leave acting. Ranbir Kapoor is living on the name of his family. Ranbir Kapoor can not be a good actor. It’s the name not him.” This is what I normally listen about Ranbir Kapoor. Fine, people have their own perspective and without any doubt his debut was not a good one. I sometimes feel that we often look at the performances which we should not remember rather than we should remember. Take example of Rocket Singh, Bachna Ae Haseeno, Wakeup Sid. Not superhit but he did justice with his role.

Imtiaz Khan. I seriously want to meet this man. How, I seriously want to know how he does this every time! Jab We Met, Love Aaj Kal, Socha Na Tha (not a hit but was a very cute movie) and now Rockstar. Hats off to his skills.

Nargis, the new face rather I should say some ‘takkar’ to the accent of Katrina Kaif. Hot looks, cute face, almost nil knowledge of hindi and okay type acting before interval. Bollywood should welcome a new budding fresh face. For acting please refer to female actors :)

Story ends :P. Actually no. I seriously want to write a review on this but some how I am feeling it will kill the charm of watching the movie. But anyway, why should I bother. I watched it :D. Let us kill some excitement. If you have read the review of Ra.ONE I mentioned “please go without any hope and expectations”. For this movie I am taking my words back. Please go with a lot of hopes and expectations. Enter the screen thinking that it should be the best movie bollywood could have produced in 2011. I am sure when you come out, you will feel that it has actually given more than you expected.

You need to take care of few things while watching the movie. First thing is that its in bits and bytes. You can not go out for picking up a call or get late for the movie. Every minute tells a story and its a mixture of present story and flashback. So leave everything behind. All tensions, stress, phone and children should be left at home. Its something which you should enjoy and enjoy to fullest.

Do not expect good acting from Nargis. She is not a good actor. She is just a cute face and hot body. The scenes between Ranbir and Nargis and worth concentrating on. Some close and some lovable.

What exactly is the story about? Story is not about a rockstar. Its about a next door boy who wants to be a rockstar and somehow he finds a way out. Its not about struggle but its about love, relationship and the pain what you get in a relationship. Its about loosing someone and getting him/her back. The feeling of being together and the feeling of being far but close.

Cheesy? Na! The movie is not cheesy at all. At some moments you will feel its breaking your heart and at moments you will feel sorry for the characters. Janardan a.k.a JJ a.k.a Jordan is a boy next door who love music and wants to make his name in the field. As all college canteen owners are, the canteen owner of his college’s canteen is also a counselor and suggests him different ways to get pain into his music.

Sooner he tries for it and as the movie moves on, the more and more pain gets involved. Heer, who is a high society hot chick of the college gets impressed by the simplicity of JJ. They both spend quality time together and work on a special list of Heer which she wanted to do before getting married. From B grade movie to red light area, this part of movie was fun all together. Later she gets married and Jordan (name given by Heer) started gaining popularity but on the same hand misses Heer a lot.

He gets a chance to meet Heer in Prague where she was married during a tour and they spend time together in the same way. Here comes a little twist in the story with falling in love all together, getting apart and finally the heart breaking situation which lead Jordan into a strange mood. He gets more and more aggressive but the music improves.

Heer, who is suffering from Bone Marrow disease got shifted to India and they meet again. As a true love story, coming close improves health of Heer but a little twist comes up in the movie it ends with….. Go and watch the movie now. :) If I am writing such a long review, then there must be something in the movie. Don’t miss. Must watch.

Must Listen (Though as the music is by AR Rehman which you can not miss!):
Naadan Parindey
Saada Haq
Kun Faya Kun

Cast And Crew:

Ranbir Kapoor >> Janardan / Jordan
Shammi Kapoor >> Ustad Jameel Khan
Nargis Fakhri >> Heer
Shikha Jain >> Meena
Jaideep Ahlawat
Aditi Rao Hydari >> Sheena
Piyush Mishra >> Dhingra

other cast:
Shernaz Patel >> Neena Kaul
Kumud Mishra >> Khatana

Rating:

Ranbir Kapoor: 4.7/5
Nargis: 3/5
Imtiaz Ali Khan: 5/5
Overall Rating: 4.5/5

A must watch for sure.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36pqJJ567g0[/youtube]

 

 

 

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Be Sensible! Think Social! No Facebook! BULLCRAP!

Those who know me well, are aware of the fact that I do not censor my words on social networks as I never “Beep” my words in real world. Just to make sure it does not look “over” on the blog I used the word BULLCRAP instead of the “real” word :). Anyway, let me come to the issue. Facebook, again! Issue is not with facebook but it is with the thinking and mentality of people. I seriously do not understand from which school or area they belong which made so orthodox and kind of stupid that they think  what they do is right and what others do is wrong.

I came across yet another situation which seriously pissed me off. Actually the problem is not with them. The issue is what they think of the people around them and how they see the world. Lets see some of the points which I collaborated from different incidences and do some analysis on them.

1. Facebook is anti social: How the hell! Facebook made me meet some of my old friends whom I am sure I won’t be able to come across in my whole life. I know whats going in their lives and they are in touch now. We meet often and share memories. How it can be anti social? I daily meet new people, make new friends, share thoughts, work and much more. The bond is as similar to what I share with friends in real life. This is same with many people. The life is busy today. Social networks like facebook bring us closer in many ways.

2. Facebook is against social values: Excuse me? Drinking like a stupid and barking in public about stupid topics with mouth full of foul words is in favor of your social values? Whatever netizens do over internet is what they want to do in their circle. I and 80% of my friends are same in real life and virtual life. We talk, we share, we discuss, we make fun and get serious from time to time. We respect our elders and regularly post how much we love our family. Sharing a photograph with mom or dad only make others realize how important parents are. Atleast we wont behave like you jerks when they get old. We won’t put them in old age home for sure. Amazingly 90% of people censor their word on social network sites. Do you beep your words in public? I know you don’t otherwise every second word would be a beep beep beep.

3. Facebook takes you away from real world: If someone is getting married, engaged, had a breakup or get into a relationship, need blood or unfortunately dies, we know before you does. We pray for the souls whom we don’t even know but as it was posted by a friend we share the sorrow and help them to get out of it. We arrange blood on urgent basis by tagging, sending sms, inbox people about the requirement and no matter where we live and where blood is required, the need in fulfilled in moments. Who is closer to real world? We or you?

Social values do not come by the fact where we live or what we do but they come from heart and what we were taught from the very beginning of life. We are from a country which had a very open culture but ruined by so many invaders. It is the need of time to learn every aspect of Old Indian Society and understand why we had that system. Everything had a reason and a value that time. Think and behave yourself before pointing someone else.

Respect woman and elders. Love children and family. Give love, share happiness and sorrow. Social networking is not bad. You are just trying to prove its bad.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOTzliX5DuM[/youtube]

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Panjab University – Soch 2011 Gig – THE EPIC FAIL!

On the name of Panjab University, the event SOCH – 2011 not only put a black mark but made it hard for local bands to even think of performing next time. I don’t know what happened in the competitions took place in day time as I was not there but I went for the gig in which few well known bands of Chandigarh (I Quit, Swastik, Sones Aura, Fused and Ear Split) were lined up to perform. As it was long since I clicked any rock concert, I went with big hopes to get some good shots.

I reached a little late. The first band, Sones Aura was doing their sound check and was almost ready to play. I clicked a few photos which are attached in the post, during the sound check. As soon as they started playing their first song of the set which I was really looking forward to as it was related to de-addiction. The message they were about to give was good and there was a smile on my face.

Suddenly, the members of the team of Sufi singer Jagir Parvez (I hope I am writing the name right) came and stopped them in middle of the song and started getting prepared his performance. The whole crowd actually booed on them but there was no effect on their heads. Sones Aura got off the stage after that and things got a little wild. Audience who actually came to see the rock show (including me) started moving out.

Now I am not sure about this but I overheard some people outside saying “bande kam ho rahe ne yaar phone kar cheti” (Crowd is getting scattered. Call more people.). I went to see the submissions of photo competition (again highly disappointed) and when I came back there was good enough crowd but the genre of crowd which came for rock show was missing. I do not know if the calls made the night for Sufi singer or it was his luck.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJOwpY2W30A[/youtube]

Now, for all unknown and known reasons which made them to take the playing band off the stage, do they even have some respect for other artists? Even big shot international artists won’t behave like the way they did. I pity the organizers who actually allowed them to do things in this way.

No matter how big the artist is. If he/she cannot respect other artist, he/she is not an artist. I respect the decision of the bands to back out. The organizers were apologizing but there was nothing to stop them. Amazingly no band abused them on stage and went off the place quietly. I am sure they won’t play for PU again at least won’t play for SOCH 2012!

In end I have only one question,”Ae SOCH tujhe is saal kya ho gaya?”

 

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Cohabitation – The Live-In Relationship

I was reading an article by a facebook friend in the newspaper she works on people who are in Live-in relationship in Chandigarh. I neither had any issues with the concept nor I oppose living together before marriage. Even I have a lot of friends who are living together but are not married. The article actually made me feel a little bad over the commitment part. Cohabitation, generally known as Live-in relationship is a type of arrangement which is adopted by those who want to be together but can not get married for several reasons. Some of them can be intercast/interreligious marriage, same sex etc.

Live-in relationships are meant to check compatibility and financial security before getting married. As mentioned by many couples, it is better to live in a Live-in relationship rather than living a divorced life. Very truly said indeed. In a Live-in relationship, despite of the fact that you live , manage home, finance etc together but there is less social/emotional responsibility as compared to marriage. You actually won’t have to give explanation for one night stands or going out with another person in many cases.

The ease of getting out of the relationship in Live-in relation is much more than that of marriage as there is nothing on legal papers in it. You just need to sit, talk and take a mutual decision. As far as I have seen, 70% of Live-in relationships which do not end in marriage, ended quite easily and without any future issues.

Pros are cons are obvious but overall this type of relationship is gaining popularity. If we see Indian history, in past, we had such relationships but this was buried in past during British rule. Still, it is very much legal for an adult couple to live together. I am not commenting anything on homosexual couples as the case is still in pipeline.

In metro cities where it is not easy for a single person to live, such relationships are flourishing very quickly. It not only gives an emotional and financial support but also gives the couple a way to relax physically. Every couple actually has a different reason to get into such relationship. For some, it is a check for compatibility, financial security, ease of ending relationship, low level of commitment and emotional or physical needs.

I was asked some days before to justify this type of relationships. The question was something like “You give relationship advice to people. What do you think of such relationships? You always talk about love, commitment, being together and all but such relationships do not fall in your category. Do they?” I was silent for a moment as I never expected such question to come in front of me.

My take: First thing, yes I give advice over relationships but I am not the one who can justify any relationship. Let me give you some examples. In 2009, one couple came to me for marriage counseling. That was the first time I was sitting in front of a newly married couple who needed help to solve their issues. The main thing was compatibility. They were not at all similar at any point. People are not magnets who will attract each other if they are on opposite poles! On the same hand I came across many happy couples who are in a Live-in relationship from last 2-3 years and are living happily. I have seen some of them getting married after living together for a while. The main question is, what is the harm? There is no harm in this except so called “social values”. I seriously do not bother if someone is living together without getting married or even if the couple is homo sexual. If you think it is right for you, it is very much right for you.

On the other hand I have some issues with the thinking of some couples. “Change the partner” theory is not what they should keep in mind while going into such relationship. It will be better to call it sexual relationship than calling it a Live-In relationship. “You do the home decor” is not what girls are looking for. Help them. Work with them. You should not treat your partner as a slave or kaamwali bai. No matter she is your Live-in relationship partner or wife. Normally people think emotional support is not required in such relationships. My dear, if there is no emotional support, from where the hell you will check for the compatibility?

No two relationships are same. No two relationships have similar spices, level of commitment, love and understanding. It is you the partners who started it and you will be the reason if it is ended. Think, study your partner, know more about him/her. Make decisions together and live happily. Live-in or marriage, both need time and devotion at some level. Its your responsibility to crack the code in time :)

 

P.S. I am working on a video update on same topic which will summarize things in a 2-3 minute video. Will add it here only in a day.

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Ra.ONE – Don’t Miss

SRK! You have done so much publicity, actually over done it. The thing is, when you enter the screen after listening so much about it, you expect more than you should. That is happening with Ra.One. Definitely, I too was sure that there should be something interesting before the release but as soon as the reviews started flowing in, it was a shock for me as everyone was saying “it’s a copy”, “it’s a flop” etc. and many “critics” gave it less than 1 mark out of 5. This made me more curious to see where the film lacked but what best happened was I was not at all expecting anything great out of the movie.

Lets first discuss the marketing strategy for the movie. As per ‘news’, SRK has spent more than 20 crores on promotions of the movie. Thats a huge amount for an Indian movie. Frankly speaking they didn’t leave a single mm on the paper where they have not promoted it. Reality shows, city to city promotions, news, advertisements, merchandise, associations and much more. Including Akon, Rajnikanth and voice of Amitabh Bachchan was also a good step taken by the team. Those who worship Rajnikanth, actually pre booked a lot of shows just to see than 1.5 minute performance of Rajnikanth as Chitti.

All this has somehow overdone the need. People started expecting so much as some ‘well wishers’ of SRK compared the movie with Avatar. There is no way to compare amateur SFX/VFX market with a well established one. We make love based and for the mass films whole year. Some experiment like RA.ONE comes once in a while and unfortunately all were flop when it comes to Bollywood. Indeed Rajnikanth’s Robot did a fantastic job.

What is the story all about? It’s about a gaming programmer who is a coward in eyes of his son. What do expect from a programmer anyway :P . We do not have ‘dole shole’ to show off :P. Shekhar, played by SRK, wants to rise in his son’s (Prateek) eyes and always keep on trying to impress him. Soniya, played by Kareena, is a house wife and doing thesis on “Indian Foul Words”. Okay! there was no need of such stupid comic in the movie as on later stages she just becomes normal! Use of words like Kiss and Condom looked stupid in the start but in end when Prateek used it while having conversation with his mom, it really added spice to the scene and made everyone laugh for a few seconds.

As per wish of Prateek, Shekhar made a game in which the villain is unbeatable. Known as Ra.One or Random Acess Version 1, the game was also named RA.One. The hero in the game is G.One or the Good.One. One of the cutest face in the movie was Shahana Goswami who played the role of Jenny. A dusky beauty who acted well for the short time span in the movie. Once the game was ready, Prateek played it one the very day of launch but left it in between. The villain, Ra.One came out of the game to take revenge and kill Lucifer which is Prateek’s gaming identity. He first adopted looks of Akaashi, who is a member of the developers team in the movie (played by Tom Wu who is a martial art expert from hollywood). After the interval you will see Arjun Rampal as RA.One. There is a dialogue when he saw Ravan being burnt on Dushehra “Tum log raavan ko har saal isliye jalate ho kyunki tum jaante ho raavan kabhi nahin marta”. Good one it was :)

RA.One killed Shekhar while looking for Lucifer. Prateek got a hint and went to the his father’s office where he finds out body of Akaashi. Now this is a little stupid. As per the story, Shekhar’s cremation has been done before Prateek’s visit to the office and still no one knows what happened in the development area which was totally shattered by Ra.One when he came out of the game. Anyway, from here G.One was bought to life.

After this a lot of SFX can be seen in movie which all are delight. I read many reviews that it looks likes a game. My answer to them is when the characters are from a game, how can you expect them to look real :P. You can see effects inspired from Iron Man, Transformers, Krish, Terminator, Spiderman and everygreen special effects from the movies of Rajnikanth. I am not using copied here as they were inspired and not copied. The famous cube from Transformers-1 was adopted and mixed with the effects of Terminator. The heart of Iron man can be seen on chest of both Ra.One and G.One. So overall its good to know how easily I remember the effects in previously seen movies :D

I expected that Shekhar will become G.One but I am happy to see there is no BOLLYWOOD effect and they actually killed Shekhar before G.One came to real world. I read in newspaper today that Prateek came out of his father’s death so quickly like if nothing has happened. I want to ask one question. Have you actually seen the movie? There was a complete song on the situation and moreover Prateek keep on quoting his father on many places. Please do not expect the child to cry in the whole movie. This is a sci-fi movie and not a family drama.

The movie is a must watch. Though you have no other option. I hope you will prefer SRK over Himesh Reshamiya! Special effects is definitely a delight for eyes especially for children. Do not hope for anything beyond the benchmark as there is nothing like that especially if you watch hollywood action movies. Leave expectations at home and I am sure you will come back with a smile. For one time, its a good investment.

 

I will give points to the movies as follows:

For story: 2/5

SFX/VFX: 4.5/5

Acting: 3/5

Marketing: 4.7/5 (though overdone)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w71L7YhD3xI[/youtube]

Cast:

Shekhar/G.One – Shahrukh Khan

Soniya: Kareena Kapoor

Ra.One: Tom Wu and Arjun Rampal

Prateek/Lucifer: Armaan Verma

Jenny: Shahana Goswami

Akaashi: Tom Wu

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