Too much

Written by Anurag Bhateja on July 28, 2009 – 6:58 pm -

Sometimes everything just goes beyond your expectations. Though today morning started early, everything was going fine, clouds are out there (Mood swings are there) but suddenly everything got changed unexpectedly. I came to know that I have proved myself a big time fool by trying to make someone that I care. What is the meaning of all this? Am a dumb A** to keep you updated of everything and ran for you here and there? Am a fool to care for you that much and then just because of one thing you just kicked me out of your life.

I have insisted a lot of times in my blog posts that if you are committed and are in love please let the world know so that someone else do not get hurt by such things. Every time I tried to calm you down you just blew everything like a bubble. Just because I was the one who said the magic words doesn’t mean that you have right to be angry for whole life. At least you can think over it once and think at what point I made you feel that I can be a trouble in your love life?

You removed me from your friend lists, do not pick my calls, do not reply to my messages or anything do not bother me much. They do, but not that much that I start messing up about you here and there. In life we meet a lot of people and fall for many and you can not deny that. Even if you are in love with someone, think once if you meet someone too good, did you never feel like may be the person sitting in front of me can be a better life partner? I bet you did feel like this for someone. If you can feel like this why the hell I can not feel the same for you?

Frankly speaking I have never expected such a behavior from you. If someone love you or care for you that does not mean that you should not talk to him/her. Oh come on! Do you think like this? Grow up.

Anyway, this is getting too much on my mind now. I think I need to break something and God please take this laptop away from me before I do something to it.




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Posted in My Life My Thoughts | 6 Comments »

Importance Of Getting Rid Of Frustration

Written by Anurag Bhateja on July 25, 2009 – 9:05 pm -

Being frustrated is an integral part of your life or I should say everyone’s life. Reason may vary, they vary, but in end each and every human being someday will get frustrated on something. It can be related to life, love, job, work, business, government, system, God or anything. In simple phrase, “You can not just avoid it”. You can try to avoid, but you will fail for sure.

Now what to do. How to remove it from your head once it has acquired a place there? Is there really any way out? Yes, my dear there are several. It all depends on the individual how s/he is going to handle the situation. Some may get really on nerves of the people who are the reason of frustration and some may throw it on someone else. But this will only increase the problem.

Now as I am also a human, I also get frustrated for several reasons sometimes many times a day. I will now tell few ways which I use to get rid of all these things. I am living with my mother. Being so close and so possessive for her I can not take risk of showing her any signs of frustration (even though I sometimes do). So to avoid this I use my blog mainly. I write about the issue, without pointing any name. I just write why I am frustrated, who is the reason, what happened and how I am feeling at that moment. This really helps me a lot. Those who do not have blog to write can write a diary but I will prefer blog as in this way people who are concerned will come to know and will help you in getting rid of it.

Secondly, I drive. I take my bike and go on a long run. Sometimes more than for 2-3 hours. All of alone, I can cry, I can go and sit somewhere alone and even can shout on God. I know God will not feel bad if I even use most disturbing words for him (Though I do not do. I respect him :) ).

Now I have never tried going for a movie alone when I am feeling bad but I would love to try it :). It is sometimes really relaxing to go out and enjoy everything all alone.

Lets hope for the best and hope that this will help someone who is frustrated and reading :)




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Posted in My Life My Thoughts | 8 Comments »

Quite Disappointed…

Written by Anurag Bhateja on July 24, 2009 – 12:57 am -

This may be just a feeling or may the same mood swings which keep on coming and going from last many months. But at this moment I am feeling too much disappointed for many reasons. I do not know how to react so may not react on this issue. Though I want to react in very brutal way, so bad that I can ruin many relationships which may be almost ruined or I am myself trying to get on line.

About a month ago, I confessed in front of the girl whom I love that I love her which turned to be a disaster and she is avoiding me from that very day. For single reason I love her, which is dimming, she just stopeed talking to me because this is “making her uncomfortable”. What if I never told her and keep on talking to her and feeling more and more for her? She said once “What if boyfriend of the girl you love, come to beat you?”. I am not doing anything wrong. I am not harming you and never want to do that. That was a feeling which will remain in my heart forever. Getting you back as friend is impossible but remember impossible is “I M Possible”. I know this will take time and I know I should not wait. I think she got angry on my status more where I wrote I won’t step back. May be she took me wrong and thought I want to say I will get her in my life but I just wanted to say that I want to tell you. I want to tell you what I feel for you. May be I ruined everything myself.

My dearest friend is going to Canada for three long years. From last four years, I have spent maximum time with her. We watched movies, enjoyed bike rides, a lot of pool games, exploring new places, photography, coffee at CCD and a lot more but I do not know what I am going to do now after she leaves India. I do not want to stop her but going like this is making me feel like she won’t be available at the time of my marriage which is making me more uncomfortable. I know I will make her come to India to attend the biggest day of my life but still some fear is always there.

There is a friend whom I admired and always been there for him. For what? For neglecting me? For making me feel that if I am not going to do work for him he will just throw me out of the plans? Huh! I do not care. I do not care if he do things without me as I do not need publicity from his side. Every time I tried to make the way with him I always got into some trouble and still helped him a lot in his work. Are you listening my friend? Despite of the facts that are happening in my life, despite of all the tortures your contacts showered on me, I helped you in many ways. In many things and sometimes even without charging anything. Do you remember when I didn’t care of my sleep just to make sure you do not loose work? Do you remember those days when I helped you just to save your job and you got such good remarks from people on your work? Damn you! Now you are joining hands with someone else who has met you just few days back? Whatever!!

Despite of the fact that I have helped hell lot of people and still helping each and every person whom I can, I am getting nothing but problems in return. Sometimes I feel I can not help being “good” and need to be bad or even worst. Being emotional is not the way of doing work and I am being just an emotional fool from last many years. The first relationship of my life ended very badly and still she thinks that I ruined her life and tried to use her. Excuse me? I was the one who forced you to study and go ahead. I was the one who saved you on many instances. I was the one who was there for you and still try to find that you are alright and feel bad when come to know that you are not so happy with your life. I never used you for anything.

Other than these who tried to break my clients, I have a message for you. YOU SUCK. YES, YOU DO SUCK. Go and check your client list now and see how your resellers are gone from your list. No work from one reseller from last many days huh? Each one of you who treated me like a puppet, I have returned the favor. You tried to bang on me? That is my answer. FU. I know each one of you still wonder why the hell I am behaving so ridiculously with you. Because you tried to take advantage of a person who was helping you.

What else? Is there anything which is making me feel bad? A lot of things. But hey I think for this time, I have enough dose here. Signing of in disappointment.




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Posted in My Life My Thoughts | 10 Comments »

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